“All the soarings of my mind begin in my blood.” — Rainer Maria Rilke
Dear Friends
The line above marks the end of ‘Requiem’, Rilke’s serene homage to dying. He often used blood as a fervent symbol in his writing. It makes me wonder if he carried with him an inner knowing — you see, Rilke died from the prick of a rose. The wound became septic, leaking poison into his bloodstream.
A true poet in word and deed, one who it turned out had an underlying leukaemia.
Under the wide and starry sky
Dig the grave and let me lie:
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.This be the verse you 'grave for me:
Here he lies where he long'd to be;
Home is the sailor, home from sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.All the soarings of my mind begin in my blood.
September is Blood Cancer Awareness Month.
Now stay with me, for I’m not about to go into a diatribe about the increasing number of deaths, survival tips or where to donate funds toward research. This is all vitally important — of course it is — but what interests me most, as someone on this journey, is the imbued symbolism.
Can I look beneath surface-level statistics and hear the subtle voice of soul?
It hasn’t been the best of years for me physically. I’m getting on now (55 laps this month) and the burden of a progressive blood cancer is slowly taking its toll. The longer this relationship plays out though (and it is that, not a battle or a fight), the more I see the gifts. Even in death. It amplifies the present — the experiential joy of simply being alive — and directs a laser-like focus onto what’s truly important.
It’s also a call to remember my Story, with a capital ‘S’. Not the one given to me by external conditions, but the one etched upon my soul, containing at its centre my unique genius, the very seed of my being, which I am learning to fully embrace and give away in service to life.
We could say this Story is in my blood. Sure enough, the ancients understood blood in this mythological way, synonymous with soul in that it contained some non-material source of life.
This is hema, the blood, liquid fire — incandescent, deliquescent story-carrier — urging me toward an awakening to my true self via a descent into the underworld, a time of ashes and a golden revelation.
A Hindu story:
There once lived a sage who performed intense disciplines and received many gifts. Once, while attending to his garden, he cut his finger. To his surprise, instead of blood he saw tree sap seeping from the wound. Pride filled his mind and he shouted with joy that he was the most sacred man in the world.
Shiva, who had witnessed this, took the guise of an old man and came to ask him about his delight. Listening to the sage’s response, the old man told him this was no reason to be elated. “When trees burn,” Shiva said, “they turn to ash. When only ash remains, it is then you will understand.”
The old man then sliced his own finger and ash fell out of it. The sage realised that it was Shiva who stood before him, and he understood.
Some form of relationship between blood and ashes is found in almost all ancient cultures and mythologies, symbolising transformation, sacrifice, renewal and regeneration.
Strangely, my mind turns up Charles Bukowski, another poet who died of leukaemia. When it comes to any comparison with Rilke, it’s like the dull grey sledgehammer of gritty existence meeting the great spiritual introspective. I laugh when I think about how Rilke would respond to lines like ‘there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I'm too tough for him’, yet there is a red thread that binds them.
Buk wrote that his blood was soiled. In an alchemical sense, this is dirt becoming ashes. A vegetal journey down and into the womb of the earth to be reborn.
We all both crumble and soar, and while it’s said that Shiva bled ashes, it’s true that each one of us contains about 0.2 milligrams of gold — and most of that is found in our blood.
To my fellow brothers and sisters dancing with blood cancer.
Oceans of love.
Asher
P.S. Check out the events at The Fifth Direction for this month and beyond which include the upcoming ‘Fire & Ice’ tour with our dear brother, Canadian breathmaster and wilderness guide, Steve Beattie.